A Lover's Rhapsody

collection of inspirational music, notes, images, miscellaneous stuff, and of course people that I'm fond of :)
Where the wild things are? In a jungle? No! For me the wildest place in the entire universe is in one’s mind. Mind can travel through space and time and marvelous part of it, we can even create a world of our own When I was a kid, just like an epitome of a middle child, I always felt left alone. I used to feel like a frog in a goldfish pond. I felt that I did not belong in my home, my family. Then I started to create story in my head. Sometime the scheme would be: I got switched in the hospital. Supposedly I belong to this royal family who love me so dearly since I am their princess, the one and only. Subconsciously I began waiting for my ‘real family’ to fetch me and deliver me from my long time misery. They never did. Now, I am still in this family and of course, it never been smooth. Lots of arguments every now and then.. But just like max, no matter how happy I could be in my very own utopia, still.. There’s no place like home and there’s no family like mine Ps. Here is a picture of adorable Max in his wonderland(Where the Wild Things Are). I feel that I can relate myself in so many ways to this little boy :)

Where the wild things are?

In a jungle? No!
For me the wildest place in the entire universe is in one’s mind. Mind can travel through space and time and marvelous part of it, we can even create a world of our own

When I was a kid, just like an epitome of a middle child, I always felt left alone. I used to feel like a frog in a goldfish pond. I felt that I did not belong in my home, my family. Then I started to create story in my head. Sometime the scheme would be: I got switched in the hospital. Supposedly I belong to this royal family who love me so dearly since I am their princess, the one and only. Subconsciously I began waiting for my ‘real family’ to fetch me and deliver me from my long time misery. They never did.

Now, I am still in this family and of course, it never been smooth. Lots of arguments every now and then.. But just like max, no matter how happy I could be in my very own utopia, still.. There’s no place like home and there’s no family like mine

Ps. Here is a picture of adorable Max in his wonderland(Where the Wild Things Are). I feel that I can relate myself in so many ways to this little boy :)

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,And sorry I could not travel bothAnd be one traveler, long I stoodAnd looked down one as far as I couldTo where it bent in the undergrowth;         Then took the other, as just as fair,And having perhaps the better claim,Because it was grassy and wanted wear;Though as for that the passing thereHad worn them really about the same,         And both that morning equally layIn leaves no step had trodden black.Oh, I kept the first for another day!Yet knowing how way leads on to way,I doubted if I should ever come back.         I shall be telling this with a sighSomewhere ages and ages hence:Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. The Road Not Taken, Robert Frost Yesterday, I went to my ancestor’s tomb as any nice chinese girl living with her parents would for Qing Ming(anual visit to the cemetery). My ancestor cemetery is located up in a hill in a ,a rural area, two hours drive from where I live and to reach the top of the hill itself, one have to hike for about 40 minutes or so. I am brand new to this area. I was walking behind my dad (since he is kinda familiar with the area) when I took this picture. It was a beautiful day. The green paddy field and the bright sky. I cant help but remember one poem by Robert Frost when I look at this particular picture. Each and everyday of our lives, we are always faced to choices and of course most of the time one choice is easier than the other. Just like the road. Then I think to myself, which way should I take? ps. it will make all the difference
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,And sorry I could not travel bothAnd be one traveler, long I stoodAnd looked down one as far as I couldTo where it bent in the undergrowth;       
 Then took the other, as just as fair,And having perhaps the better claim,Because it was grassy and wanted wear;Though as for that the passing thereHad worn them really about the same,       
 And both that morning equally layIn leaves no step had trodden black.Oh, I kept the first for another day!Yet knowing how way leads on to way,I doubted if I should ever come back.       
 I shall be telling this with a sighSomewhere ages and ages hence:Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

The Road Not Taken, Robert Frost

Yesterday, I went to my ancestor’s tomb as any nice chinese girl living with her parents would for Qing Ming(anual visit to the cemetery). My ancestor cemetery is located up in a hill in a ,a rural area, two hours drive from where I live and to reach the top of the hill itself, one have to hike for about 40 minutes or so. I am brand new to this area. I was walking behind my dad (since he is kinda familiar with the area) when I took this picture. It was a beautiful day. The green paddy field and the bright sky. I cant help but remember one poem by Robert Frost when I look at this particular picture.

Each and everyday of our lives, we are always faced to choices and of course most of the time one choice is easier than the other. Just like the road. Then I think to myself, which way should I take? ps. it will make all the difference

Martha Reeves & The Vandellas Something (by MrBeatlesCovers)

Among all of the Beatles songs that had been covered by so many artists, “Something” is the 2nd most covered song (of course the number one would be the famous “Yesterday”).

Just like the title, I have “Something” towards “Something”. Especially this particular something that is covered by Martha Reeves and the Vandellas :)

Thank you George Harrison for writing such a beautiful song

Lyrics:

Something in the way she moves,
Attracts me like no other lover.
Something in the way she woos me.
I don’t want to leave her now,
You know I believe and how.

Somewhere in her smile she knows,
That I don’t need no other lover.
Something in her style that shows me.
I don’t want to leave her now,
You know I believe and how.

You’re asking me will my love grow,
I don’t know, I don’t know.
Stick around, and it may show,
But I don’t know, I don’t know.

Something in the way she knows,
And all I have to do is think of her.
Something in the things she shows me.
I don’t want to leave her now.
You know I believe and how.

There are times in life..

There are times in life..

bringing ching chong and ling long to a brand new level :)

way to go Jimmy Wong!!

PS. i am a fans

Luciano Pavarotti and The Corrs Live Concert O Surdatto Nanm 

The title in English would be the Soldier of Love

Dear readers,

This song was written during the first world war about how those soldiers missed their loved one back home when they were at war :)

Then how I relate to this song?

I believe each of us is at war in every single day. We are fighting our very personal battle, maybe not with the gun and whatsoever but but for things that are really worth to fight for.

For me it is my future with the one, the love of my life. I believe that I have met the one. Even though she is far away, hundreds miles away from me, i can always feel her presence everywhere I go. I am fighting my battle (in this case, financial!! I need to be financially independent) as a soldier of love to be near her, hopefully soon :)

Here is the link for the lyric and translation: http://www.allthelyrics.com/forum/italian-lyrics-translation/38271-o-surdato-nnammurato.html

Never give up in fighting your personal battle, God speed !!

and the last but not least, have a great weekend everyone :D

my little savior

I have lost faith in drinking tons of water, fiber diet, etc etc (you name it). They did not work for me. My digestive system is such a b*tch. So annoying that I would be so damn grateful if I can go one time in 3 days without consuming any laxative (I know!). Laxatives had been my daily routine since forever and I believe those who ever consume it do know how powerful and scary the effect in the morning, and sometime half a day.. or the whole day. It never fail to wake you up in the dawn (if you consume it before you sleep) and make your day become less lively<— is there such word?

Anyway today I met a little buddy that have made me a believer, effortlessly. Now I would like to promote a little savior of mine.

This little buddy called KIWI!!

I munched a kiwi earlier this and half and hour after I successfully did a great deal of business at the loo DID IT naturally!! (no detail needed I believe?)

yes, the little hairy greeny thingy!! It really does justice to my almost morbid system. 

*sorry readers, no intention of making any of your faces turning green but for those whose got same problem like meee, DO try this at home. Besides it tastes good and make your tummy kinda full - not bloated 

Good luck!! :)

I Will Always Love You Father - sincerely, your (queer) daughter

Living life is about making decision. Most of the time we are facing moments where we have to decide on something (various stuff: from choosing what we wanna eat for dinner, what to wear to a beach party, who we want to hang out with, etc) but of course there are some that we can never choose. Those stuff are called destiny.

For instance, being born. I never choose to be born. I did not choose to be born in a very strict non liberal Chinese family (not that I am complaining), it was my fate and I have chosen to be thankful. 

Being queer was not my decision either. It is just me. Not that I am a rebel teenager who does thing irresponsibly for the sake of some little attention from the parents and  acceptance from the peer group. I am just like every normal daughter who wanted her parents to be proud of her, and most of all, sharing her happiness with them. 

I never been a parent yet rumor has it that every parents want their kids to be happy. As Ive been witnessing, parents of daughters around my age (I am 25, soon to be 26) are thrilled to see their daughter walking down the aisle with the “Mr. Right”. Then what if the daughter wanted to spend the rest of her life with her “Mrs. Right” instead? Would the parents still be happy for them?

Earlier this afternoon on the way home with dad, I decided to “sorta” came out to him properly. Why “sorta”? because..

1. I would never say “Hey dad! I am gay!!” <— this is too f*ckin retarded, most of the time am a classy queer for finger whatever sake! beside.. I was never really close to him so I wanted to put it nicely

2. He already knew that me, his daughter was gay ( I never came out properly like I mentioned earlier, its a long story but the short one: accidentally I was dragged out of the closet and it was “OUCH OMFG”, ever since he’s been hoping that I would repent so I won’t rot in hell)

3. Always wanted to come out properly!! ( I hate lying and living in the shadow, once I lie, I’d have to think whats to cook next and I totally HATE it!)

4. I am still living under the very same roof with him which is happened to be his house, not ready to be homeless, at least give me few months from now and I’ll be fully independent!! PROMISE!

5. For all sentimental reasons.. I just wanted him to love me for who I really am, or at least accept if love is too much to ask for. I do not want to be loved for who I am not.  

It was half an hour away from getting home and I was starting to build my courage.. time ran by too fast!!

Twenty minutes.. Gone.

Fifteen minutes.. Gone.

Ten mintes.. Gone.

My tongue became so damn numb but I know that I would have to spit it out. There I said..

Me: “Dad, I am moving out in two years or so. Maybe sooner, maybe after two years”

Father: “Where?”

Me: “I do not know yet. Right now I am working as a team with you in this company but at some point I would need to be myself, start my own life and do my things”

Father: (Silence)

Me: “And maybe if I am lucky enough, I’ll move in with someone who I wanna spend the rest of my life with”

Father: (Silence)

Me:”No matter whatsoever befall, I will always love you”

Father: (Silence)

He did not say anything at all, I was grateful(before, I was wondering would be his reaction aftermath and I’ve pictured the worst eg. cursing me etc). I did not expect him to react or say anything at all at the first place. He aint no stupid man and I am damn sure he totally understood what I was saying without me saying it out loud and bluntly. 

We got home and still, the air was filled with unspoken words. I went to my bedroom as usual, and he went to his. 

Half an hour after that, he called me and asking me to come to his room for he needed to talk to me. 

I was shaking! and wtf he’s ringing me now *brb* Ah.. work! BOOYEAH!

Ok let me continue, so I went to his bedroom. I looked at him straight to the eyes and asked him nicely,

Me: “Yes, what can I do for you”

Father: “How to deleted these pictures on my facebook? I was tagged without my approval”

Me:”…………….. 

Here you go!!”

so ok readers, I came out to my dad and this time he did not freak out. He did not even wanted to talk about it(denial much??!!). I cant decide which one would worse but.. 

Bottom lined: I made my point and I am sooooo relieved

I hope you all been having a great Monday, keep up your spirit and have a great week!!

Love,

BSJ

Happiness will come once you let go your past

—

I heard that all the time. To let go is not as easy as typing it down. Recently a best friend of mine became an ex best friend. Once I loved her unconditionally and it never occur even in my dreams that it will end. For a quite sometime she’s been gone. I must confess that I can’t help but think about her every now and then. It became my agony. I don’t want to live in agony. I choose to be happy.

Dearest ex best friend. Today I am letting you go. Thank you for all the sweet memories we shared. I will remember you as the “you” I used to know, a best friend of mine. I hope everything is great on your side. Good bye.